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I
drove a school bus to supplement my income during the early years. Back
then, school bus drivers needed a physical every two years to prove they
were fit-enough to safely transport children.
I was
a healthy 30-year old when I was due for one in 1986. So, while
price-shopping, I found a small-town doctor working out of his home that
performed these types of physicals for only $8. Keep in mind that the same
physical cost $75 at Olmsted Medical Group, and even more at the Mayo
Clinic.
This
doctor lived in an old house close to downtown and when I arrived, he
greeted me in his living room. I couldn't help but notice that the furniture
and everything else, including him, was old -- almost antique. The TV that
he had been watching cartoons on looked like it was from 1955.
We
went into his adjacent office/exam room and it looked like I stepped into a
scene from a Frankenstein movie. His old black bag and exam equipment were
still there and being used. His exam table and light looked like something
he purchased at a 1930 Mayo Clinic auction.
He
asked me some routine questions and then tapped my knees to check my
reflexes.
When I
commented on his antique TV, he asked me to read a couple of words printed
on his wallpaper, "over yonder," and then said my vision was fine.
Next,
he told me to go to the bathroom and pee in the cup on top of the toilet
tank for my urine test. On my way to the bathroom, he mumbled something and
I said, "What?" He then replied, "hearing's fine."
I peed
into a Styrofoam cup that looked like a hundred people had peed in before
me. Swishing the pee around in the cup like wine in a wineglass, he then
dumped it down the toilet, flushed, and said, "no cooties, everything looks
fine."
He
signed-off on the physical and I gave him a ten dollar bill telling him to
keep the change and that I appreciated his service. |
